.Tuesday, July 25, 2006 ' 12:53 PM Y
i was in a damn depressed and sad mood yesterday laa. and it started after the meeting wif the sec4s. actually during the meeting, i wasnt like sad or depressed or whatever. it started when i was going hme on the bus den i started thinking bout many stuff. haix. its like.. all the stress.. grr. cant stand it. i mean we get to live on this earth like for only ONCE. den why must we give stress to ourself and lead this disgusting life. why cant life be carefree and easy.. grr whats the point of stressing yourself wif so many things and in the end fall into some kind of depression. haix. whatever man. its all man's doings. if life is like tat den we should just all go jump off the building and die and maybe lead a better life away frm this earth. grr cant stand it. wads more this week got like 4 tests. ( oh and i think i failed chinese test. but whatever) im starting not to care bout stuff now and i was in a very bad mood yesterday. reached hme quite late yesterday and my ma started complaining agn. but didnt want to tell her much cox i scared i start crying in front of her and she'll like ask more and more. so ya, went to bathe and cried in the toilet. haix. i think im putting too much stress on myself man. grr why cant i just let go of everything. haix just cant bring myself to do it. as in, in terms of studies, band, social life... whatever. just feel that i got too many things to do.. haix i cant bring myself to just not study and fail all tests.. though i want to go out and play everyday but i cant. grr. was in a very bad mood yesterday and must say sorry to shumin for affecting her mood wif my problems and making her cry. was adding more things to her already stressful life. haix. SORRY GIRL !! but thanks for crying wif me. lol. feeling better today oready but maybe im hiding my feelings frm my frens. just dun want to show it to others and affect their mood too. hmm whatever. hopefully i wont break down agn. esp at night when im alone in the room and start to think bout alot of stuff. haix. i hate my life now !